Today I break away from my express purpose of this blog to tackle a bit of something on that whole Mormon feminist drama taking place. Groups such as Mormon Women Stand and Ordain Women are begging for both voice and ordination. John Dehlin and Kate Kelly are up for disciplinary councils. Across all this lies the spectrum of sympathy, ranging from staunch "The Church, Prophet, and Tradition say this" to that free-spirited desire for equality and significant change on all fronts. This is gross and cruel over-simplification, but it seems one end is for the brainwashed old-timers and the other is for the crazy heretics. Heaven help you if your view falls somewhere in the middle, where you're just a wishy-washy non-commit.
Where do I stand? I must confess I'm on the former end with the brainwashed anti-feminist freaks. Greetings from the dark side.
Why am I here? Is it due to fear of oppression from the LDS Church? Is it a deep-set hated of all things feminist? Am I unenlightened?
I'll give the usual answers. Yes, I believe the priesthood ordination is not for women at this time. Yes, I think women's roles and natures are different. Yes, I want to honor instructions and views from Church leaders.
But there is another reason: I just don't get the other need.
Truth be told, I'm probably not necessarily an orthodox Mormon. I don't think I'm wildly unorthodox. Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say I'm more about the personal spiritual journey. I've said before that I hate all organized religion except the LDS Church.
I love the Church. I love all that it has done for me. I love the doctrine and find it sensible. I believe in it. I even enjoy the Utah Mormon culture. But when I have another spiritual desire that doesn't conflict with the Church, I'll go with it. I had an awesome institute teacher who called this "spiritual envy" and he was a man who did take bits and pieces of other religions add to his practice. I enjoy reading my scriptures and I enjoy praying. I love General Conference. But, truth be told, if I had a great excuse to not go to every Sunday meeting, I'd probably take it. I guess I just don't need a regular dose of that organized community. And if something happened to cause my beliefs to change significantly enough to not match the Church's beliefs, well, I'd just leave peacefully.
So I don't get this desire to change the Church to meet certain spiritual wants and needs. Search, ponder, and pray. If there is something missing from your spiritual practice that would not contradict Church beliefs or policy, consider taking it up. And don't be afraid to express it. I see so many people crying in blogs about how they feel they are too different. This isn't jr. high school, speak up! If it fits well within in the Church, don't be afraid to express it. If it doesn't fit... perhaps it's time to move on.
I eventually considered the possibility that not everyone is like me, that others do need an organized community of like-minded believers. That seems to be where problems sprout. "I would love the Church if only it changed pretty much everything about it!" No, it's not up to you to change it. There are branches of the Mormon faith that do ordain women and probably believe enough similar things as the official church.
I don't want to say "Why don't you just leave?" rudely. I mean it in all good heart. If the Church and you no longer share enough beliefs, leave peacefully. Find what works for you and what strengthens your belief.
What I don't stand for is people pushing to change the religion I love. What I don't stand for is people who put their needs first and foremost--not just for themselves, but on top of everyone else. Why should we significantly change to meet the needs of a few?
Granted, this does not solve the problem of those who don't comfortably fit in the LDS Church and yet need that big church community for their spirituality (and aren't about to go join a fringe church). These people do have my sympathy for their situation. I don't know what to do for them.
But I'm not going to scream for ordination I don't even want or demand the Church change their doctrine on everything.
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