Showing love and support for those struggling... what does it look like?

Yes, another rambling of thoughts on the Ordain Women stuff and the recent excommunications.  I'm ready for the drama to die down, though apparently not ready to help it do so.  Another question remains with me...

I've seen a plethora of blog posts, videos, and the like regarding showing understanding and love.  Don't hate these people, don't be malicious to them.  Love them, support them, listen to them.

Which sounds all well and good.  In spite of everything else I think and feel in regards to these groups and past incidents, I whole-heartedly believe we should love them and be compassionate.

Except I haven't the foggiest idea what it looks like.  Oh, the loving part is easy enough. These are my brothers and sisters.  I will love them and pray for them.  Until any of them personally get in my face, I harbor no ill will.

But all these requests for compassion and understanding fail on one big question of mine:  What the heck does it mean to be compassionate and understanding?

I'm a teacher.  In order to assess something, I have to have a clear idea of what I'm looking for. Hence the aforementioned "What does it look like?"

Every blog I've read urging us to show compassion (often written by people who state they "don't agree with these people) has comments criticizing their lack of understanding in these movements.

Apparently, championing niceties  isn't enough. 

Here's what we need to figure out:

1. How do we show compassion while standing true to our own differing beliefs?
2. How do we seek to understand them if we have no intention of changing our minds?
3. What do we do if our remarks of "I want to be nice to you!" don't work?  (Because, we haven't changed our minds.)

Yes, I'm sure there are individuals who are plenty happy with us reaching out and saying "I still love you even if I disagree".  But it would seem these movements as a whole want conversion.

So until I get specific and detailed advice on how to show compassion, I'm going to let my lack of non-hated be enough.

Renewing an expired teaching license

So I had a rough deal when I my teaching contract was not renewed.  I was on a provisional three-year license that was about up and my principal wasn't up for signing my requirements page for license upgrade.  And, according to the Utah State Office of Education, I had to apply for the Level 2 license.

However, there was a twist.

I could apply to get a one year extension.  Or, in my eventual case of four years later, I could just get a one-year deal on the Level 1 license all over again.

The process?  I just had to have a school to hire and vouch for me.  The USOE's website had a form, my new principal and I filled it out together, we submitted it with a bit of a fee, and I'm good for another year to finish my license stuff. 

Yay!

A few notes if you're in this situation:

• You need to have your background check done, so keep that accurate.
• You will probably also have a few other hoops.

But wow, it was easier than I had hoped.

Changing the LDS Church: How 'bout we not?

Today I break away from my express purpose of this blog to tackle a bit of something on that whole Mormon feminist drama taking place.  Groups such as Mormon Women Stand and Ordain Women are begging for both voice and ordination.  John Dehlin and Kate Kelly are up for disciplinary councils.  Across all this lies the spectrum of sympathy, ranging from staunch "The Church, Prophet, and Tradition say this" to that free-spirited desire for equality and significant change on all fronts.  This is gross and cruel over-simplification, but it seems one end is for the brainwashed old-timers and the other is for the crazy heretics.  Heaven help you if your view falls somewhere in the middle, where you're just a wishy-washy non-commit.

Where do I stand?  I must confess I'm on the former end with the brainwashed anti-feminist freaks.  Greetings from the dark side. 

Why am I here?  Is it due to fear of oppression from the LDS Church?  Is it a deep-set hated of all things feminist?  Am I unenlightened? 

I'll give the usual answers.  Yes, I believe the priesthood ordination is not for women at this time.  Yes, I think women's roles and natures are different.  Yes, I want to honor instructions and views from Church leaders.

But there is another reason:  I just don't get the other need.

Truth be told, I'm probably not necessarily an orthodox Mormon.  I don't think I'm wildly unorthodox.  Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say I'm more about the personal spiritual journey.  I've said before that I hate all organized religion except the LDS Church.

I love the Church.  I love all that it has done for me.  I love the doctrine and find it sensible.  I believe in it.  I even enjoy the Utah Mormon culture.  But when I have another spiritual desire that doesn't conflict with the Church, I'll go with it.  I had an awesome institute teacher who called this "spiritual envy" and he was a man who did take bits and pieces of other religions add to his practice.  I enjoy reading my scriptures and I enjoy praying. I love General Conference.  But, truth be told, if I had a great excuse to not go to every Sunday meeting, I'd probably take it.  I guess I just don't need a regular dose of that organized community.  And if something happened to cause my beliefs to change significantly enough to not match the Church's beliefs, well, I'd just leave peacefully.

So I don't get this desire to change the Church to meet certain spiritual wants and needs.  Search, ponder, and pray.  If there is something missing from your spiritual practice that would not contradict Church beliefs or policy, consider taking it up. And don't be afraid to express it.  I see so many people crying in blogs about how they feel they are too different.  This isn't jr. high school, speak up!  If it fits well within in the Church, don't be afraid to express it.  If it doesn't fit... perhaps it's time to move on.


I eventually considered the possibility that not everyone is like me, that others do need an organized community of like-minded believers.  That seems to be where problems sprout.  "I would love the Church if only it changed pretty much everything about it!"  No, it's not up to you to change it.  There are branches of the Mormon faith that do ordain women and probably believe enough similar things as the official church. 

I don't want to say "Why don't you just leave?" rudely.  I mean it in all good heart.  If the Church and you no longer share enough beliefs, leave peacefully.  Find what works for you and what strengthens your belief.

What I don't stand for is people pushing to change the religion I love.  What I don't stand for is people who put their needs first and foremost--not just for themselves, but on top of everyone else.  Why should we significantly change to meet the needs of a few? 

Granted, this does not solve the problem of those who don't comfortably fit in the LDS Church and yet need that big church community for their spirituality (and aren't about to go join a fringe church).  These people do have my sympathy for their situation.  I don't know what to do for them.

But I'm not going to scream for ordination I don't even want or demand the Church change their doctrine on everything.